Millenial woman

It's been that long since I've taken a break from blogging, and suffice to say, I'm not short of topics to write about. End of my Dissertation Writing Project, start of my real full time job, learning the ways of a slightly twisted and yet perfectly 'normal' social values in Mongolia, starting and then restarting attempts at becoming healthy, bypassing the seven year touching stone of my coupledom, breaking out into social spheres and trying to make new friends in my 'older' years. Lots to write about, and yet, it seems I've lived through them all without writing about it.

I read an article recently that more and more millennial women are choosing to leave work with stress, pressure, under appreciation as the main reasons. And having been in full time work for the last two years I realized upon reading this that I too have become one of these women. I enjoy the ambition that I breed at work, the fears I have to overcome when making the shots no one else is willing to, the camaraderie that is created with co workers, the belief that you’re doing something worthwhile your time even if not entirely your capacity (but are striving everyday), and because of these and the all-consuming experience you don't notice much the tough sides.Tough bosses, tough deadlines tough budgets, tough environment.

Then the day comes when you realise you’ve had enough and surely there is more in life….

Some women (who are feminists by nature) might say stop holding yourself back and they may themselves decide to play the game in a mostly male corporate world and win, by being the change you want to see. With a huge push towards equality and support for women in the workplace in the last few years through social media and high profile initiatives this is a very topical issue. An article in the Guardian recently touched on this precisely by citing only 5% of the FTSE100 company's CEO was women, and bankers are mostly men because it's such a masculine environment, which was an issue highlighted by one of my favourite British contemporary artists Grayson Perry-I urge you to read this if only for a view of his very in-your-face piece.
But in the other camp there are other people, predominantly women, who are ardently feminist and who say (at least I hope) do what you want, what makes you happy. There are of course many other issues in the world and wanting world peace is pretty high on the priority list. But ultimately, if we are not here to be happy then what is the point? In my opinion, those who are messing things up (bankers) and those are are hurting others are deep down not happy people.
My issue is I always challenge myself internally by seeking the opposing views just to test my theories (part of decision making process from work I've not been able to shake off) and the opposing view to this would be, this is only an issue because I am fortunate enough to be in a position where I can make these decision (yep, middle class problems…). But what made me sway was getting pregnant again and , ultimately, being so happy that leaving work behind seemed such an obvious decision.

And quite honestly, in this time I’ve found myself again. I've bonded with my son again. I've spent time with my family, brother and sisters. I've finally caught up with Game of Thrones (haha, yes, because this is very important!). Watching movies never fails to lift me up and having realised I've starved myself of this one pleasure I've been on a marathon run of movies, TV, music and reading. And out of this experience second time round I've learnt that my son is actually a great kid. I’ve also learnt that I should be healthier and fitter. Current affairs feels strangely inclusive when you give the time to pay attention to it-I felt a part of the world again. Taking time off to rest and prepare for a second baby and the birth has been the best decision I’ve made. Financially crippling yes, but still best decision. And now having had the baby, I'm glad the timing has gone well work wise as well as state of mind wise. Of course super glad and grateful to have had a healthy and wonderful new boy, again.

Some people think having a baby is a step back or down. Some think it’s a much earned rest (hah, only if you’re not breastfeeding every two hours!) For men, staying at home to look after the kids is apparently perceived as a chance to write that book (sorry, one more of many Guardian articles on this issue but this one particularly made me laugh). For me, I've discovered it’s a chance to discover myself again. Sometimes, just space and a bit of time makes everything clear. No, this is not a guide, just my thoughts on my particular experience at this point in my life. Harvard research says you’re most stressed mid 20s to mid 30s in the journey of life. I feel like I’ve bought myself a first class ticket. 

*I have not explained what 'millenial woman' means here because frankly I will write a book. Instead this is my thoughts on one aspect of what I understand to be a millenial woman's journey in life.