Sunday, 17 July 2011

30 weeks today

A whole 7 months have passed since I last blogged and a lot has happened in that time. Obviously recounting everything is a bit pointless because in hindsight it would seem the most memorable events and things would've somehow made it's way into a blog. But, it seems the real reason is not lack of memorable events but lack of time because there was too many memorable events.
In late January my suspicions grew and grew and in early February it was made quite obvious to me that I'm pregnant. Since then it's been a whirlwind of event after event and nonstop moving around, nonstop work and nonstop feeling elated.
It just occured to me a few days ago that I have got what I wanted for a long time. Obviously the last seven months have been full of excitement, emotions, expectations but only recently it hit me that I had wanted a baby for so long and very soon there will be a little person in my arms.
But this aside, I have been living the last seven months through the eyes of a pregnant person and so much has been made clear to me. Many things have annoyed me (belly touching and rubbing, asking for the sex of the baby, unwanted comments on appearance, unless it's complimentary) and many have made me realise new things.
The bigger things are that my life, our lives our changing on such a bigger scale than I had imagined. In the last few short months it has been decided that I will move country, leave my jobs behind, plan financial situations and consider a completely new life. Ofcourse I'm lucky that I'm able to make these choices for my unborn child's benefit and make the changes. Not many people have this privilege and I have to keep reminding myself that life is beautiful, it goes on regardless of changing events and all you have to do is embrace it with joy.
I'm wholly looking forward to my impending new life and cannot wait get 'stuck in.' I hope there will be opportunities for me to blog more regularly about it all. but either way, it never fails to amaze me how so much changes in such a short amount of time.

Monday, 3 January 2011

staying in the present

It's 2011 now and as per usual I'm sure blogs around the world are full of resolutions and resolutions and more resolutions. So why pretend I'm thinking otherwise? Might as well get on with it and put it out there before it becomes increasingly embarrasing to talk about when it's halfway through the year. Because talking about it is what helps one keep their resolutions, right?
Here we go:
1. Don’t oblige yourself unless you really want to
I learnt over a number of small and big obligations I put on myself that it's in fact not necessary to oblige yourself to make that promise, offer to help, pretend it looks great or look out for everyone, unless I really want to. It goes down the same line with learning to say 'no.' Not that I'm particularly a pushover, just that I have this innate desire to please people. Not healthy, at least in this time and age because people's desires are limitless and we've caught onto this.

2. Share-thoughts, dreams, wishes and fears
I've also realised over numerous examples and scenarios played out that when thoughts aren't shared enough, complications arise. Same goes for wishes and fears. Dreams are also important to share because it validates who you are because the person next you will then know what you wish for. Sharing ultimately makes things real. Unless you share your dreams it may never happen because it takes two to make some dreams come true. And not to be moody when they don't instantly 'read' you. Ultimately, it's about being unafraid to put yourself out on the line and share something with someone that says the truth about you.

3. Delay if possible-when making fairly big decisions
This one I learnt from the hubby. He doesn't like making rash decisions and on the spot purchases. This can be good and bad. In my case very good, because it means I think twice before buying another set of plant pots with matching plates because it has cute little bugs on it and I really really need it. Same goes for large purchases as well as decisions that I later wish I never made in the first place. Delaying gives me the freedom to think and consider options. No rocket science really.

4. Set short term goals-get to know some colleagues better; complete the tasks I’ve delayed
These help measure my progress of growing up, I think. Unless I can see that the changes I'm making in my life are producing results I'll give up. There are many large goals I had set that are left unfinished. So from now now concetrating on the little things and goals will be my goal. A little ironic especially as I've said 'from now on...' but it's a goal nevertheless.

5. Downsize possessions and belongings
Where did I hear that 'the more you own the less freedom you have?' probably some movie that I can't remember the name of, until it comes to me at some random time of the day. Either way, a massive year long clean out is what I need and should have. No need for explanations I think.

6. Invest in the stock exchange
Saving in a savings account is no longer fun. It was when there was a fairly significant amount to watch grow but since our trip to Thalaind it's a little depleted and the thought of starting again is a little depressing. Having stocks and bonds can be a security issue, plus it's not readily available when resolution number 3 crumbles.

7. Relish my freedom
Breaking down the invisible wall that's holding me back. Enough said.

8. Appreciate what I have
The neverending cycle of want, desire and consumption is a scary thing. Appreciate what I have because, I most likely have everything I need.

9. Dance more
Endorphins good. Flushed cheeks good. Happy times good.

It seems most of my resolutions are for someone who is determined to stay in the present and not push oneself. But hey, why not? All decisions are made in the past. And since we think about our future quite a bit anyway, when it comes to making the final decisions, hopefully, the above resolutions will help.