Student again

As I mentioned in a previous blog I have moved country again, or shall I say we have moved country again’ (it’ll never be I for a long time I’m afraid), to study for a masters degree. Although the decision never felt hard to make, only very natural and obvious, the effects borne from it are not so easy to deal with. To begin with, I am a student once more, mixing and mingling with other students, teachers, professors and professional slackers, all with some purpose in their lives. I’ve been looking forward to this all summer, greatly anticipating the process and prepping myself as much as I can to not trip over again, like the last time I was at an educational institution.

And so far everything I’ve read is genuinely interesting for me and I’ve enjoyed reading text after text on what other people may think is the most boring topic ever. I’ve truly looked forward to my lectures, raised my hand and participated in every class, couldn’t wait to get to the library to find the reference books and actually read them on my train back home. To a sceptic, this may seem like a typical first few weeks back at school type of behaviour, but I can feel that this time round it’s very different. Why? There’s just too much at stake. We all know how important education is, how it will give us the financial and social independence that we should all strive for towards the end of adolescence (although the reality of this possibility is becoming harder especially in the UK, with higher education fees becoming stupidly high with not much prospect for returns i.e. employment, at least in the European markets).  I had known this from a long time ago, and realised the importance of a degree and an educational experience, in my personal case at least, however it seems now that it was never taken seriously, by me.

In 2006 I was a somewhat mature kid with some ideas of what I want to be but actually no real idea of anything else. I spent three years studying but not actually studying a subject that half interested me because I didn’t understand it too well, making friends with people who weren’t really friends (although I have met a few special people), wasting hours and days away following the crowd, all in fear of not being with any crowd of people, of being alone.

Living in the real world for a few years and returning to education is very surreal. The professors and lecturers don’t seem that intimidating, the admissions officer not so professional, (most of) my fellow students not so cool or collected, the prospect of reading not so daunting, assignments not so scary, and the campus all very lovely. I’m lucky in that the Birmingham University’s Edgbaston campus looks like a proper campus, as seen in American teen movies, all large leafy green trees, looming clock tower, ancient buildings and (probably) hundreds of nooks and crannies to let the day slip by with a large text book.

And above all, I fully realise that I’m here for a reason, with purpose, and there’s no time to be standing around clueless. I have a child, a husband and a marriage, many great friends, professional experience to a degree, and most importantly, a future to think about, quite seriously. It’s not daunting at all, if anything, it makes learning, socialising, and living more interesting. I just wish that what I see now, and what I understand at this point in time was available to me the first time round. None of us are getting any younger, and with super achieving bright young things with a book deal, an online business and a first degree whilst looking like supermodels, ‘age is a high price to pay for maturity’ (Tom Stoppard).

For those people who are not patient enough to study for a long time and go from a bachelor’s degree to a master’s (like me) or has already been ‘enlightened’ to some sense, I highly recommend taking gaps between the process of seeking knowledge. Not only do you get to laugh at yourself from times before, you know yourself better.

This is my new university! (Aston Webb building).

My mum

My mum has spent many years raising my brother and I, then my sister after, alone in London. She worked many hours, two jobs at some points, juggled studies for a while, moved us around London countless times, took us to many, many theme parks, museums, parks and on trips, and then dealt with all our bullshit in adolescence, shouldered the financial troubles and shortcomings and managed to maintain a marriage half way across the world. I do have a lot of respect for her, especially now that I’ve begun my journey in her footsteps as a mum.

But what she has also taught me are so many in number and priceless in value because I know that that everything I’ve learnt, achieved and dream of had all been down to her.

My love of reading, books and the inherent desire to seek knowledge is my mum’s efforts and my mum’s alone. When I was growing up, and even today, she says: “Learn, learn and learn more. Education and knowledge is power. And no one can take it away from you.”

Helping others comes naturally to some and not so much in others, and for me it’s never questioned. No matter what the situation I can never seem to walk away from a problem or a person without ransacking my brain for any last vestige of possible aid.  And my mum has taught me this in the best possible way-by leading in example. This makes me a push over to an extent, naturally, but I enjoy it. I just have to remember to put some boundaries up.

Patience is a virtue they say but my mum says that patience will get you what you want. Controversial as it may sound, the one who let’s the moment pass (in matters of emotions, money and relationships) will ultimately win because you’ll always end up with the upper hand. In anger you won’t say something you’ll regret later, in impulse you won’t spend more than you can afford and in relationships you won’t hurt the other person).

Believe in something bigger than yourself. It’ll protect you, and it’ll guide you. Call it Buddhism, Zen Buddhism, hippy talk, sustainable living, or what you will but I don’t like labels mostly because I grew up in an environment I couldn't quite label myself at the age of nine, and no one taught me the specifics, and also because I think if we wait patiently, soon the need for labels will cease to exist and we’ll all live a life most happy.

Moving forward and upward, always. This was not taught per se but observed and fully accepted. Even in times of hardship and uncertainty I realise that we’ve always strived for better things. Better jobs, better homes, better food and even better English. Knowing that you can always do better and more in life has given me courage in the face of impossible situations and heart breaking moments.

My mum: a wife, a mother, a granny, a sister, a friend, a doctor, an inspiration.

Message from a Lord

When a model/calculation is tested over and over again and still give the same results, scientists call it a theory. My theory is that when you are in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing with the right mindset, the whole universe comes together to bind it all up and send you a message: you’re doing alright. Funny how this has come up again, and I’ve observed this in the past too, but this time it speaks to me even louder and truer. Before the universe bound up to tell me great but simple truths, but this time it feels mightier and more significant. It may all sound a bit hoo-haa for some however; it makes perfect sense to me.

Recently I enrolled in a master’s course in Urban and Regional Planning at the University of Birmingham-my road to getting here has also had similar flavours as what I’m about to write about here-and academically I’ve never felt more like I belonged here than anywhere else. 

Since the course started, and since then for two days of the week I read, speak, and listen planning, planning methods, theory, urban design and all that. The rest of the week I equally live and breathe the same topics, albeit in the dark when my son is asleep, in a quite couple of hours stolen in away in the city centre library, on the train ride from Birmingham to Coventry, in the park when taking my, yet again sleeping son, for fresh air. So suffice to say I’m surrounded by the subject. But a little example that hints at my universal message this time was found outside my yoga class and Lord Rogers of Riverside.

One of our assignments in class was to attend a public consultation of the council and write an opinion piece of the experience. What the heck is a council public consultation? And where do I find it? But on Tuesday after an hour and a half of pretty aerobic yoga class at the sports centre there by the door was a small A4 poster of the AT7 centre in Coventry that’s to be redeveloped and a design public consultation was to take place that Thursday! Hey presto, assignment sorted.

Before the yoga class I attended a memorial lecture given by Richard Rogers, the architect who designed the Pompidou Centre in Paris, the Millennium Dome and Lloyds building in London, and was given a temporary access to a world far beyond my own, which completely inspired me. Today, I’m still thinking about buildings, architecture, cities and different times all over the world in total awe. Suddenly what I’m studying became something beyond study, but a constant thought and awareness. When I tried to read a text this afternoon for a class on Monday I couldn’t focus, and a for a minute I worried that the initial enthusiasm was wearing off, and I wanted to read something completely different for a change. And almost without any real thought my hands reached for the Sunday Times Magazine from last week and read every article back to front-it was refreshing to read about many thing I wasn’t aware of or didn’t know but could relate to now. Then I came across an article about the Riverside Café and it’s anniversary and who do I see on the page in front of me but none other than Lord Rogers himself, in a bright lime green shirt sitting next to his wife Ruthie (who part owns the restaurant) in a bright coral shirt, smiling as if they were greeting an old friend! 

Lord Rogers

I realise these are fluffy and consequential examples but to me they are enough-it’s just what I needed to affirm that the decision to leave my husband behind for a year, uproot my little son to a different country, burden my mum with part time and sadly unpaid child care, and take up studying for a master’s degree, whilst being unemployed and therefore without funds, are all for the right reasons, and it’ll all be alright.

Pompidou Centre, Paris

Millenium Dome, London

Lloyds Building, London