Where is feminism in Mongolia???

The phrase “Since you are a woman…” must be one of the most over used start to a sentence to goes on to point to an issue that is not at all gender based. I say this in the context of Mongolia and the Mongolian language, however I’m sure many would be familiar with the less explicit versions of this comment in any other language around the world. And as someone whose point of reference and relativity is mostly based on life in the UK with parts of it in Ulaanbaatar, I can confidently say that people are generally terrified of saying the word 'woman' in the UK for fear of being called sexist and/or being subject to some work place disciplinary action. But in Mongolia?! Hey ho, it’s a phrase that comes out so naturally from both sexes’ mouths without anyone really going: “Hang on, would you say that to a man?” Nobody seems to question these phrases, where words have been put together to represent people's thoughts about issues that they clearly believe has strong basis in gender relations. I have never in my experience of living in Mongolia for three odd years heard a woman, or a man, raise gender issues in a non-threatening or accusatory manner that just pokes at the surface. And truthfully, I probably didn’t even realise what was happening fully, let alone become that ill placed poke. 

My impression so far is that of men and women accepting phrases such as “since you are a woman…” as a normal everyday exchange of opinions, opinions which have almost become unspoken truth.  And I also know that if I say: “Hang on, would you suggest a male colleague to furnish their office with potted plants, since you are a man??” would instantly brand me as the woman that talks about ‘gender’ and therefore must be treated with caution. Because I’ve seen very brief instances of other women attempting at the poke but being burnt by the “Don’t bring up such nonsense” look and treatment before being shut down for good. Although I was young and stupid and was not aware of such dynamics to do something about it then, I still didn’t quite get how I was supposed to think of or react to covert sexism in general. And I think many women in Mongolia still do not recognise sexism when they’re being served it, and those who do consider it as part of the day job. 

Unlike in Western societies where gender issues have been long raised and debated, and have seen their popularity rise and fall like fashion trends, feminism in Mongolia is very new. At least that’s my impression anyway, because during my time in Mongolia I have not come across one feminist writer, actor, politician that are concerned about the collective. There’s plenty of liberation of the individual, especially women who declare their independence in magazines and newspapers that are largely based on financial freedom backed by a combination of their acting, modelling and business ventures (a dark undercurrent that suggests you have to be reasonably attractive and in many cases just divorced an even wealthier man, to achieve this by the way). 

However, without going into murky waters where majority of these lifestyles are inevitably connected a male figure, I still want to ask…but where is feminism? Where is the feminist voice that says that women have choice even in the most trivial issues of everyday life? And have the right to talk about it without fear of being outcast? The verbalising of these rights is frowned upon in society and yet I’m sure we've (at least the ones who recognise it) questioned sexism without actually using the term sexism. And I’m sure plenty of us have longed for the same opportunity as a male counterpart without necessarily knowing the definition of feminism. I would like to speak to more people about this issue and hear what they have to say. Who knows, there could be plenty of feminist writers and bloggers, photographers and other creative individuals that create a bridge between women and ideas in Mongolia, which someone sitting in Coventry does not know about.

Lastly, I just want to say that I love my husband, appreciate him and realise myself to be a lucky lucky woman, not only because he’s just lovely but because he accepts that I have choices, wish to make them in due time, in due context without ever saying “since you are a woman….” He is my feminist hero.