Let's talk breastfeeding

Having grown up in the UK there are many things I find interesting if not baffling living in Mongolia as an adult. One of which is child rearing culture differences. Breastfeeding in public is major topic at the moment with several campaigns in support of this practice. In the UK major retailers and networking groups are behind this effort to make it a normal experience for mothers to breastfeed their babies. I personally support this as it's such a normal thing to do in my Mongolian opinion, not to mention the very real and valuable health benefits for newborns. In fact almost everyone I know who are Mongolian with no question believe mothers should feed their babies with their breast milk, full stop. No opinions, no discussions. I even had a man I work with asking me to do something tiny for work during my maternity leave but very cautiously apologising for exposing my baby to screen time on my laptop. And so the Mongolian culture of valuing breastfeeding mothers, mothers in general and placing so much value and preciousness on a newborn baby never fails to amaze me from time to time.Which is probably why the concept of breastfeeding rooms or corners in public places were never really needed here.

However, I find that with any issue that has such significance in society, there are tendencies for it to go too far also. In this instance the shaming of mothers who do not breastfeed, either out of choice or because they just simply cannot. The almost judgmental tone of an opinionated relative who narrows their eyes in silence when you tell them you've stopped breastfeeding can be pretty intimidating. Nothing can be a more personal issue and yet because of its wide acceptance in society people also believe it's everyone's else's right to have a say in your own decision.

And of course in societies where the change is trying to be made there are small groups who also take it further. 'Attached parenting' is term that's been getting a bit fashionable in the UK and USA. Having read about it a little I realised it's basically a fancy name for what almost every Mongolian family I know practice (Mongolia seems to be trending again following goji berries, cupping, goat and camel milk). Cosleeping-check. Breastfeeding on demand (sometimes until 4 years old!)-check. Carrying constantly-check. Many thoughts and expert opinions in both camps alike but it all sounds so high pressure to try and do parenting a certain style.

For me, parenting is a crazy and exhausting experience that never fails to enlighten me a little bit everyday. And it's not easier the second time round either. Less panic but still f-ing up. There is no perfect way to be a parent especially during the first few months, which for me is not always the best. There, I said it. I'm just that kind of mum. As cute and gorgeous smelling as they are in infancy, babies are hard work and I urge other mums (and also dads) who feel bad about saying this out loud to not be. I look forward to my kids growing bigger and telling me jokes, visiting museums together and talking about books we've read. So please don't shame those mum's who are just hanging on day by day until the sun shines brighter.

If anybody wants to talk about these issues with me or need some guidance, I'm going to be starting a support group for new parents soon called LAB (Life After Birth). Keep an eye out for more info, or message me if you want to join.

Music of my youth

Some people have a very profound relationship with music and seem to need it from such a deep place. Whilst others really don't respond it to it so much but simply enjoy it where they hear it-not sure which is better but ultimately I suppose it's not about what's better or right. Music for me has always been a changing presence in my life where I would listen to it or respond to it differently depending on what my life is like at the time. It can sometimes resurrect memories; connect me to my emotions; allow me to escape me emotions; change my mood; uplift me and even let me just drift without the loneliness of silence.

I remember being a teenager when everything was that bit more elevated-my emotions, my thoughts, my expectations, my dreams. And during this time I now look back on the music that listened to and how it changed and shaped me. Many of the albums and musicians I listened to growing up was stuff made in that time (the 90s and the millenium) and perhaps because that was my growing up time I still believe that it was one of the best times in music. I may be biased in wanting to big up the 'good ol' days' however this was a time when we had no social media, text messaging was just starting, people carried pagers and we did pretty much what we actually really liked instead of being told by people to like this and dislike that. I personally like to think that a lot of very important information was obtained from magazines like Shout and Mizz and felt confident in the rather wholesome and gentle guidance that even the agony aunts would write about, whereas today anyone with an internet connection is an 'expert' and we must constantly look for the most up to date and latest information. I write this today because I read a while back that for the first time in history the sales of old music has surpassed that of new releases and this for me is very relatable because people I think know what they enjoy and what is good, especially when it comes music, and older music was made and listened to without all this fuss and noise that we get from today's music. So they are genuinely very enjoyable to listen to. If a good friend of mine who is a music fiend is reading this I'm sure she'll have a lot to say about my thoughts but that's the magic of music-it can unite or divide people and I hope the following unites fellow lovers of music from their youth! We should all continue to listen to our favourite music no matter what.

Des’ree-Supernatural
This is an absolute old time favourite album that lifts my mood and I always end up singing along to it. Plus it was one of those first of many CDs I bought with my own money (all collected from weekly pocket money) and felt so grown up.

Zero 7-Simple Things
My above mentioned friend introduced me to this (among all the albums by Daft Punk!) and it instantly takes me to amazing places.

Corrs-Talk On Corners
Catchy and lovely pop songs perfect in the car. And yes, I AM a girl after all.

N.E.R.D-In Search Of...
What can I say, I like my music funky and loud and this is when I could watch MTV all day long.
(Can't get the link here for some reason...)

Moby-Play
Absolutely gut wrenching at times and full of nostalgia from my days of school and discovering all sorts of emotions. My all time favourites.

Macklemore-Heist
I like to think that I'm still young but I fell in love with this album after my teenage days but before my full blown adult mode. It still makes me feel like a kid when I listen to it, especially when I go jogging and totally forget about the pain in my legs!

Ash-Free All Angels
Reminds me of days spent in the park, lying on the grass and maybe even sneaking a can of beer.

Jeff Buckley-Grace
Most moody and aching girls have gone through this phase I think but he's still a legend.

Dirty Three-all albums
Music that is all engulfing and takes you to places. Instrumental but it cannot be any other way.

Joanna Newsom-Milk Eyed Mender
This is a real crowd divider. I love her because I discovered her when I was growing a lot as a person so pure personal reasons.

This post has given me real highs just thinking of these amazing musical creations. I could go on for several dozen more albums but then I'll need more wine...anybody care to join?