Let's talk breastfeeding

Having grown up in the UK there are many things I find interesting if not baffling living in Mongolia as an adult. One of which is child rearing culture differences. Breastfeeding in public is major topic at the moment with several campaigns in support of this practice. In the UK major retailers and networking groups are behind this effort to make it a normal experience for mothers to breastfeed their babies. I personally support this as it's such a normal thing to do in my Mongolian opinion, not to mention the very real and valuable health benefits for newborns. In fact almost everyone I know who are Mongolian with no question believe mothers should feed their babies with their breast milk, full stop. No opinions, no discussions. I even had a man I work with asking me to do something tiny for work during my maternity leave but very cautiously apologising for exposing my baby to screen time on my laptop. And so the Mongolian culture of valuing breastfeeding mothers, mothers in general and placing so much value and preciousness on a newborn baby never fails to amaze me from time to time.Which is probably why the concept of breastfeeding rooms or corners in public places were never really needed here.

However, I find that with any issue that has such significance in society, there are tendencies for it to go too far also. In this instance the shaming of mothers who do not breastfeed, either out of choice or because they just simply cannot. The almost judgmental tone of an opinionated relative who narrows their eyes in silence when you tell them you've stopped breastfeeding can be pretty intimidating. Nothing can be a more personal issue and yet because of its wide acceptance in society people also believe it's everyone's else's right to have a say in your own decision.

And of course in societies where the change is trying to be made there are small groups who also take it further. 'Attached parenting' is term that's been getting a bit fashionable in the UK and USA. Having read about it a little I realised it's basically a fancy name for what almost every Mongolian family I know practice (Mongolia seems to be trending again following goji berries, cupping, goat and camel milk). Cosleeping-check. Breastfeeding on demand (sometimes until 4 years old!)-check. Carrying constantly-check. Many thoughts and expert opinions in both camps alike but it all sounds so high pressure to try and do parenting a certain style.

For me, parenting is a crazy and exhausting experience that never fails to enlighten me a little bit everyday. And it's not easier the second time round either. Less panic but still f-ing up. There is no perfect way to be a parent especially during the first few months, which for me is not always the best. There, I said it. I'm just that kind of mum. As cute and gorgeous smelling as they are in infancy, babies are hard work and I urge other mums (and also dads) who feel bad about saying this out loud to not be. I look forward to my kids growing bigger and telling me jokes, visiting museums together and talking about books we've read. So please don't shame those mum's who are just hanging on day by day until the sun shines brighter.

If anybody wants to talk about these issues with me or need some guidance, I'm going to be starting a support group for new parents soon called LAB (Life After Birth). Keep an eye out for more info, or message me if you want to join.