What makes a Bridge?

There are several bridges in the capital city of Mongolia but none has that presence and unchallenged claim to the name ‘the bridge’ but our Peace Bridge. Built in 1963 by Soviet structural engineers, this structure has been part of our urban landscape for 56 years, connecting the north and south sides of a river that runs through our city. In the last 10-15 years this ‘connection’ has become symbolic of a disconnect between our social structure too. The movement towards a city where our wealth gap is ever widening, inspiring films as well as slang that bring forward conversations about the rich and the poor, with terms such as 'over the bridge' or 'beyond the bridge' referencing to the wealthier residents in the south.

Since our transition to a market economy and a democratic society in 1991 and onwards the rapid changes we see in Mongolia, and especially in Ulaanbaatar has been incomparable to any other post-Soviet society. Well, this is my personal opinion, and I’m sure residents of cities such as Prague, Sofia, Kiev et al will have more to say if asked. However, from my experience of having lived here for the last 11 years, it has never failed to amaze me how fast the cycle of construction, movement, trends as well as, unfortunate in some cases, opinions and policies spin around us. One major change we see very much visibly is the level of traffic and congestion from cars on the road. And although this is a topic that has several volumes of text owed to it, one small aspect of it is my desire to talk about how bridges are in the mix.

I believe that Bridges should and does transcend the practicalities of what a bridge is supposed to deliver from an engineering perspective. The way Peace Bridge does that so beautifully shows what our other recent additions to the city does not, so painfully. In illustration, my frequent walks from home to work and vice versa over Peace Bridge turns a short 20 min walk into a joyful experience where I can feel like I’m part of a city, of a public space that recognize my movement as its living and breathing part. The fact that the pathway that run alongside the car road has no barriers or barricades creates a feeling of transparency and openness which strangely enough lends a sense of safety and connection more than fear and danger. Then there are the structures built along the bridge that are like majestic atriums, where people can stop for a rest, meet a date, take selfies or just wander around in and make their own. Even though many people perceive these atriums as abandoned and/or dirty spots, the fact that people walk over the bridge everyday at every waking hour prevents it from becoming a crime magnet or a place of neglect, and instead they become small hidden parts of a city that doesn’t have to belong to anyone. This juxtaposition of elements is one of the unexplainable ways design can make a space. And this space over Peace Bridge is one that I wish was studied more and attempted to, not replicate but, recreated in other parts of the city where more and more bridges are necessary.

In contrast, in an effort to combat traffic and congestion, and increase mobility, the couple of new bridges that were built in the last few years are of entirely different species. Questions of whether they have been successful in their primary concerns still remain open to discussion, however for the sake of talking about their design, their place in our urban landscape and their presence on a larger scale leaves much to be desired. When an overpass is built, that is exactly what it is. Some may have extra space for hard shoulders, some lanes for cyclists, and some very generous ones have pedestrian space albeit close off with tall metal fences. But when all the elements of a Bridge are stripped back to its bare minimum of just performing its most basic purpose, the entire experience of using that bridge/overpass becomes a little sad.

There is a massive difference between a Bridge and a bridge. In a literal sense the way it looks, performs and costs cannot be ignored, however in a figurative sense they can be used to also explain and contrast the way we as urban residents should look at how we want to communicate with each other. Do we want to live, work, play and grow in a place that does the bare minimum, seeking results, hastening our progress, or do we want to ask for and demand places of experience, joy, connection, awe and dreams? Essentially, we want to live in a humane city and be able to tell our stories and help build the next stories, be the bridges to our future.

‘It’s bad luck to wear more than one hat’ a Mongolian saying.

There is a saying in Mongolian that it’s bad luck to double-wear a hat, as in on top of each other, at the same time. And as hat season is approaching this has been on my mind for a while, which eventually led to my workaholic mind thinking of, what else but, work. And it was a good way of dissecting my current work situation. Operating at various levels of management simultaneously is a challenge I did not anticipate and was not prepared for. Although I have had experiences of starting a project or a venture from scratch, building it up and scaling it somewhat, and sustaining it for some time, remembering how to think and carry out certain tasks according to what stage the project or venture is at is turning out to be a challenge. Just like choosing which hat to wear and when, but more importantly knowing when to take off which.

Let me elaborate. When I started working in Mongolia way back in 2008 and was tasked with establishing an NGO and setting up pretty much everything necessary to run it my mindset was pretty simple. Do everything yourself, and do it well. Because there was nobody else. I would be learning how to formulate letters and documents to comparing car spare parts prices at the market, and everything else in between which included being a tour guide to our rally teams, talking to customs people about vehicle imports at our Western border crossings, meeting with child protection NGO staff to establish new projects, visit orphanages to understand what is a realistic way to help, give workshops to horse trainers about why it’s important children do not miss school, and designing certificates and trophies for people who make it to Mongolia in one piece. Working at all levels was tough but also meant there was no ‘management’ necessary.

Later on, when I started working in a small team at an international company with more people, managing expectations, skills and internal politics also taught me ways of working at a different level, where work load sharing became an important understanding. When there are more cooks are in the kitchen coordination, communication and schedules can become crucial to getting things done. At this point I would say I learnt my strengths and weaknesses, and in an effort to accomplish tasks at hand, accepting the things I cannot do, or at least well, meant I had to know when to listen more. This was especially important for me because I was continuing to struggle with local knowledge, some cultural aspects that glue local staff together, on top of trying to adopt the culture of our Japanese investment company and their country.

Eventually, when I starting working at a higher management level at another company this workload sharing became a way to be more practical because I would start to learn to delegate tasks towards my team and focus on those only I can do, or better yet, that no one can do. So smaller, yet still significant, tasks were allocated and then checked. Challenges that arose here was facing external forces that would be important part of our operation. Local authorities, organisations and agencies that would approve permits and certificates. Many meetings and appointments were with people who took their cues from the way we appeared, or what we said or what was insinuated. And in the case of Mongolia, gauging what a phone conversation meant, or how many people to take into a meeting, who would knock on the door of which officer all turned into almost a kind of game. 

Executive level is another step up but I have struggled quite a bit here because I was still somewhat in a mental state of getting things done myself, and paying attention to smaller details, and not allowing myself to relax and take a deep breath and look at the bigger picture. Furthermore, the idea of giving tasks and ‘orders’ as some Mongolian executives would say, made me feel squeamish and a little embarrassed sometimes, especially if your subordinate was much older than you. Navigating the linguistic mine field of saying ‘та’ but also giving out tasks, and in many cases, reprimanding and then correcting a course of work had me feeling all sorts of uncomfortableness. I am someone who respect our customs of addressing older people properly and I’m sure there are many people who struggle with this too. Besides the internal issues, expanding my mindset at this level has been liberating when working because it can align nicely with your thoughts if you are a naturally optimistic person. You feel anything and everything is possible, and that is a blessing and a curse in disguise. Because what happens when you are going through some crap in your personal life and are just not in that mood to lead and encourage your team every morning?

And all these questions and issues pose the greatest challenge when you start it all yourself and have to become the tasker, the team player, the manager and the executive at the same time. There are bookshops full of books on starting your own business and the challenges and the ‘secrets’ to doing it well, and I have read some but not enough. What I have been rolling around in my head recently is the particular challenge of being an executive whilst starting a new project, whilst managing an older venture. It may not be a smart way to live and work but I love it no matter what so it’s not a question of whether it’s too much, just a matter of how to do it well. And one step I have been learning to take very slowly and sometimes without much confidence is knowing when to put on which hat during the heavily loaded work day where decisions have to be made quickly at various levels of thinking.

At the new project I really must get into the nitty gritty of the work at hand and be completely immersed and comfortable with the task at hand.  At management level of my business I need to be thinking of ways to push the business forward and look at the numbers closely. At executive level of my job I must be looking out for my team, the direction of the company and ways to improve current situation-must be growth oriented. Oh, and at the team player level-have to keep in mind being open to new things, discussions and making decisions together. This is my weekly family meeting time around the dinner table with my boys. So perhaps, the old saying has many truths because double-wearing a hat won’t be practical at best, costly at worst. However, if you’ve weathered enough cold and hot seasons, knowing how and when to swap them around is the only way to look forward to each new day.

Millenial woman

It's been that long since I've taken a break from blogging, and suffice to say, I'm not short of topics to write about. End of my Dissertation Writing Project, start of my real full time job, learning the ways of a slightly twisted and yet perfectly 'normal' social values in Mongolia, starting and then restarting attempts at becoming healthy, bypassing the seven year touching stone of my coupledom, breaking out into social spheres and trying to make new friends in my 'older' years. Lots to write about, and yet, it seems I've lived through them all without writing about it.

I read an article recently that more and more millennial women are choosing to leave work with stress, pressure, under appreciation as the main reasons. And having been in full time work for the last two years I realized upon reading this that I too have become one of these women. I enjoy the ambition that I breed at work, the fears I have to overcome when making the shots no one else is willing to, the camaraderie that is created with co workers, the belief that you’re doing something worthwhile your time even if not entirely your capacity (but are striving everyday), and because of these and the all-consuming experience you don't notice much the tough sides.Tough bosses, tough deadlines tough budgets, tough environment.

Then the day comes when you realise you’ve had enough and surely there is more in life….

Some women (who are feminists by nature) might say stop holding yourself back and they may themselves decide to play the game in a mostly male corporate world and win, by being the change you want to see. With a huge push towards equality and support for women in the workplace in the last few years through social media and high profile initiatives this is a very topical issue. An article in the Guardian recently touched on this precisely by citing only 5% of the FTSE100 company's CEO was women, and bankers are mostly men because it's such a masculine environment, which was an issue highlighted by one of my favourite British contemporary artists Grayson Perry-I urge you to read this if only for a view of his very in-your-face piece.
But in the other camp there are other people, predominantly women, who are ardently feminist and who say (at least I hope) do what you want, what makes you happy. There are of course many other issues in the world and wanting world peace is pretty high on the priority list. But ultimately, if we are not here to be happy then what is the point? In my opinion, those who are messing things up (bankers) and those are are hurting others are deep down not happy people.
My issue is I always challenge myself internally by seeking the opposing views just to test my theories (part of decision making process from work I've not been able to shake off) and the opposing view to this would be, this is only an issue because I am fortunate enough to be in a position where I can make these decision (yep, middle class problems…). But what made me sway was getting pregnant again and , ultimately, being so happy that leaving work behind seemed such an obvious decision.

And quite honestly, in this time I’ve found myself again. I've bonded with my son again. I've spent time with my family, brother and sisters. I've finally caught up with Game of Thrones (haha, yes, because this is very important!). Watching movies never fails to lift me up and having realised I've starved myself of this one pleasure I've been on a marathon run of movies, TV, music and reading. And out of this experience second time round I've learnt that my son is actually a great kid. I’ve also learnt that I should be healthier and fitter. Current affairs feels strangely inclusive when you give the time to pay attention to it-I felt a part of the world again. Taking time off to rest and prepare for a second baby and the birth has been the best decision I’ve made. Financially crippling yes, but still best decision. And now having had the baby, I'm glad the timing has gone well work wise as well as state of mind wise. Of course super glad and grateful to have had a healthy and wonderful new boy, again.

Some people think having a baby is a step back or down. Some think it’s a much earned rest (hah, only if you’re not breastfeeding every two hours!) For men, staying at home to look after the kids is apparently perceived as a chance to write that book (sorry, one more of many Guardian articles on this issue but this one particularly made me laugh). For me, I've discovered it’s a chance to discover myself again. Sometimes, just space and a bit of time makes everything clear. No, this is not a guide, just my thoughts on my particular experience at this point in my life. Harvard research says you’re most stressed mid 20s to mid 30s in the journey of life. I feel like I’ve bought myself a first class ticket. 

*I have not explained what 'millenial woman' means here because frankly I will write a book. Instead this is my thoughts on one aspect of what I understand to be a millenial woman's journey in life.

Wealth, or something like it.

An interesting thing I observed yesterday whilst strolling through Khanburgedee Department Store in central UB was the behaviour of a woman and the way she completely berated the sales woman like she was a five year old child that drew on the walls. Apparently the woman wanted two shirts and asked for them to be put aside over the phone and when she came to pick them up the salesperson brought out one. And so she was off! She wanted two but only got one! How hard is it to bring out two shirts not one?! Did the salesperson not understand her?! Why is it so difficult to get what she asked for?! Go and get her the second shirt for god's sake! As it turned out, there was only one left anyway, and before the salesperson got the chance to find out what happened and explain to her, she sounded like a headmistress that I'd rather not cross in the hallway. This woman was really well dressed, had the expensive hand bag and the blow dry, and yet not a single polite bone in her body. I couldn't believe her reaction and her plain rudeness. Honestly, it was just a shirt. 

Normally I accept that politeness in Mongolia is ranked pretty down on the chart of everyday life experiences. There was even a survey that listed Mongolia as the tenth most unfriendly travel destination recently which I personally think displays the vast difference in some people's opinion of Mongolia as the friendliest place to travel (countless travel guides please step forward) and the unfriendliest place to live (countless residents of Mongolia step forward). It may be simpler to think that those with wealth and opportunities are likely to have better, happier and more fulfilled lives and those living in relative poverty, with little chance of vastly improving their lives (in monetary terms) would be frustrated with life and what little it affords them, and thus display varying behaviours. Ofcourse this is a gross generalisation but I watched a video today also based on an extensive research which shows the total opposite.

Granted the research took place in the United States, it explained the behaviour of the woman in my story, where the wealthier you are the less appealing your behaviour in society and towards others. I encourage you to watch this video and maybe ponder for a while. My first question was how to further research and understand the changes in behaviour as the person goes through different stages of wealth in their lives. It's not necessarily the case where you are born poor and thus die poor. And same goes for the wealthy. In the case of Mongolia I think it'll be particularly interesting where wealth seems to be created as quickly as it is destroyed. At a time of economic development risky financial investments, corruption, inadequate legal systems can make or break a man/woman. Which makes me wonder, how this fluctuation in the wealth of Mongolian society is affecting society and social norms? Is it acceptable to be embarrassingly rude to those who happen to be in the service industry? Is it ok for those who serve to accept that the 'rich' are rude and thus be it? Further, is it ok for those standing by to think that it's normal? The stereotype of a successful business man/woman here is someone who drives an expensive car, talks on their mobiles when driving, barks orders even at restaurants and scowls, a lot. I wouldn't want my child to grow up thinking that being successful/rich/even famous gives them the liberty to treat others with little regard, but sadly it's a common perception. And I suspect that many of these wealthy Mongolians don't know any other way to react or behave in society because there is only one stereotype. By being polite, showing consideration and empathy may be seen as a weakness, and a sign of being poor(er). In a time and place where being wealthy is the primary accomplishment, I wish to see a future where accomplishment is personal and wealth is not entirely numerical.

Where is feminism in Mongolia???

The phrase “Since you are a woman…” must be one of the most over used start to a sentence to goes on to point to an issue that is not at all gender based. I say this in the context of Mongolia and the Mongolian language, however I’m sure many would be familiar with the less explicit versions of this comment in any other language around the world. And as someone whose point of reference and relativity is mostly based on life in the UK with parts of it in Ulaanbaatar, I can confidently say that people are generally terrified of saying the word 'woman' in the UK for fear of being called sexist and/or being subject to some work place disciplinary action. But in Mongolia?! Hey ho, it’s a phrase that comes out so naturally from both sexes’ mouths without anyone really going: “Hang on, would you say that to a man?” Nobody seems to question these phrases, where words have been put together to represent people's thoughts about issues that they clearly believe has strong basis in gender relations. I have never in my experience of living in Mongolia for three odd years heard a woman, or a man, raise gender issues in a non-threatening or accusatory manner that just pokes at the surface. And truthfully, I probably didn’t even realise what was happening fully, let alone become that ill placed poke. 

My impression so far is that of men and women accepting phrases such as “since you are a woman…” as a normal everyday exchange of opinions, opinions which have almost become unspoken truth.  And I also know that if I say: “Hang on, would you suggest a male colleague to furnish their office with potted plants, since you are a man??” would instantly brand me as the woman that talks about ‘gender’ and therefore must be treated with caution. Because I’ve seen very brief instances of other women attempting at the poke but being burnt by the “Don’t bring up such nonsense” look and treatment before being shut down for good. Although I was young and stupid and was not aware of such dynamics to do something about it then, I still didn’t quite get how I was supposed to think of or react to covert sexism in general. And I think many women in Mongolia still do not recognise sexism when they’re being served it, and those who do consider it as part of the day job. 

Unlike in Western societies where gender issues have been long raised and debated, and have seen their popularity rise and fall like fashion trends, feminism in Mongolia is very new. At least that’s my impression anyway, because during my time in Mongolia I have not come across one feminist writer, actor, politician that are concerned about the collective. There’s plenty of liberation of the individual, especially women who declare their independence in magazines and newspapers that are largely based on financial freedom backed by a combination of their acting, modelling and business ventures (a dark undercurrent that suggests you have to be reasonably attractive and in many cases just divorced an even wealthier man, to achieve this by the way). 

However, without going into murky waters where majority of these lifestyles are inevitably connected a male figure, I still want to ask…but where is feminism? Where is the feminist voice that says that women have choice even in the most trivial issues of everyday life? And have the right to talk about it without fear of being outcast? The verbalising of these rights is frowned upon in society and yet I’m sure we've (at least the ones who recognise it) questioned sexism without actually using the term sexism. And I’m sure plenty of us have longed for the same opportunity as a male counterpart without necessarily knowing the definition of feminism. I would like to speak to more people about this issue and hear what they have to say. Who knows, there could be plenty of feminist writers and bloggers, photographers and other creative individuals that create a bridge between women and ideas in Mongolia, which someone sitting in Coventry does not know about.

Lastly, I just want to say that I love my husband, appreciate him and realise myself to be a lucky lucky woman, not only because he’s just lovely but because he accepts that I have choices, wish to make them in due time, in due context without ever saying “since you are a woman….” He is my feminist hero. 

Existential crisis?

Someone I know has made the decision to quit work and move to the Mongolian countryside and live off the fat of the land as a herder, with his girlfriend. They're both highly educated and smart people with distinct voices and opinions and I don't mean to portray the girlfriend as an after thought but I'm afraid to this day we haven't met, despite my suspicions that we might get on real fine. Their decision has made me think about myself and what I want also. Ever since I returned to the UK minus my son and carrying with me a new found determination to do the best I can for him, there's also been some thoughts on what to do after this? Come the end of summer a decision must be made, like for everyone else in the world for whom their life is at the crossroads.

I'm a lucky person in that I grew up with the opportunity that many from Mongolia did not and do not have. My family has provided me and my brother and sister with the best possible start in life. Education and the chance to live a life of heightened awareness, especially when it comes to the complete polarity of life in Mongolia and in the UK. Considering the period in which we were born and grew up, I'm pretty sure thousands more young families and couples had also braced themselves for the tough times ahead and dedicated their lives for their children by choosing to move abroad and work countless hours making ends meet. These children grew up across the world in countries away from their home, friends and families, with some even losing touch with their backgrounds and language. I had always wished I grew up with my grandparents and cousins, and grew older with the children from my class at my first elementary school in Ulaanbaatar. The said person who's moving to the countryside is a classmate from this class and we found each other on Facebook of all places.

Over 20 years since the democratic movement in Mongolia has passed and now these children of the world have grown up-a time to consider about their futures and their own families has come. I know I have much to think about. Naturally many has the potential to become great leaders in their country in all fields, because on top of education, I believe they (and I) can appreciate the circumstances of their lives and perhaps grew up with a sense of desire to come back home and see things improve. Many has started to make the move back towards Mongolia either academically or career wise, however I sense a quite revolution coming, manifesting itself in changes that my above mentioned friend has made; careers in high end professions being shunned to do things their way; and in my case my wish to just spend time with my family and live in a country that I call my home.

For too many years I've lived a nomadic life where it's always been about moving onto the next pasture. Same goes for my parents and the parents of many others I presume. Even when I was living in Mongolia for a while after graduating I felt that it was always about the big job, the big opportunity, the people you must meet and know, the meeting you must attend and mingle. I doubt many of us who moved back even temporarily had any real idea of what Mongolia is and how beautiful it is. A sense of obligation and duty may be there but passion can only grow from within.

I envy the two people who've decided to live in a felt ger and I wish more people would do the same. But I'm also proud of a friend who quit an executive job because she didn't believe in it anymore no matter how important the position was. Another very good friend of mine chose to start at the very bottom even though her connections, education and even her desire to do good is way and above her superiors, because she wants to learn about her country rather than be delivered to a 'big' position that she would have otherwise been able to arrange had she wanted. Many people are starting to feel their own worth and value, and the potential contributions they can make as their own person, rather than as part of the machine that churns out policy makers and big shot project coordinators. They are not in a hurry because they believe in themselves. Enough to wait for the right time and opportunity, or better yet to make it for themselves.

As far as I'm concerned, despite a slight existential crisis, like everyone else at a certain time in their lives, concerning my plans for the future, I now feel less pressure for myself to go back and find the big job and join the rat race. Maybe because I miss my son so much or maybe because I did grow up with the privilege of choice, either way I would rather do what makes me happy. And how important that ends up being to the development of my country, only time will tell.

A Modern Solution?

Planning’s been on my mind recently-it bloody well should be as I’m upto my eyeballs in assignments for my master, but fret not-and it’s so inevitable that whatever I learn in my classes I’ll inevitably relate it to Mongolia’s (most likely) more abysmal state of planning at present, and daydream about what I’ll do when I get back. A dangerous hobby for someone with a power complex!

It occurred to me recently that the humble Mongolian ger, or a yurt as everyone else is determined to call it, is one of the most flexible, diverse, fluid and sustainable form of housing anyone has ever seen or utilised safely. Despite its’ centuries old heritage and the lack of practical amenities such as running water and a toilet, it has continued to be used today all over Mongolia and some European countryside and camp sites calling themselves ‘boutique camp resorts.’

I say fluid because the interior is always the same in almost every ger and all Mongolians know exactly where everything goes-where you place your chest, bed and kitchen. In fact you can fit a it in there and yet there’s always space to move around and locate yourself in different parts of your home.

It’s diverse because there are many different versions of it depending on what tribe you belong to or what part of the country you live in, as well as versions by Native Americans in the USA and other types in South America. And yet, you can always instantly tell that it’s a ger, wherever you find it.

I say sustainable because you can literally pack it up in an hour and take to hundreds of kilometers away and unpack it in the same time, without doing any damage to your environment. It’s also sustainable because it’s made from natural materials that a herder can get hold of easily and use and rescue over and over again. And for a particularly creative herder, he/she can paint it lovely colours and patterns inside.

And most importantly, in my opinion, it’s flexible for so many reasons it goes beyond the word flexible. It’s a home, a school, a nursery, a guest room, an office, a travelling clinic, a hotel room, a storage room-one man’s wealth, another man’s getaway. Besides being able to plonk it pretty much anywhere, the fundamental idea of a mixed use space in planning as a discipline, the issue of community and getting people closer at a local level, the utility as basic housing and shelter, adaptability in any weather and visual amenity conditions, and the cultural significance to its end users all tick the boxes for a great solution in a planning conundrum. Surely there’s an award that this humble example of great urban design should win?! If not urban design, at least a nod from the neo-anti-capitalist-self sustaining-freegan crowd, because by using it in a modern commune type of living arrangements with water, toilet and electricity (candle lit living will suffice the hard cores) it’s bound to re-start a revolution, no?

Either way, it’s potential and currently small scale experimentation as part of an almost non-existent public housing scheme in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia has brought lots of positives. But of course with negatives too. And this is something that today’s planners can and should address.

Original and still current use 

New settings-urban sprawl and ger districts 

Modern resort

Our Space

I've always thought that what you learn is always in relation to what you've learnt before. A context is needed to get an idea of where things are and how to make things better. Apologies for sounding a bit vague but I've been filling my head with a lot of planning related texts in the last few days and it gets one thinking, you know? Because when considering planning it seems that one must have a pretty good idea of a lot of other things so as not to leave anything/one behind when deciding where things go.
Back to the first point I made: everything I've been learning in the last few weeks has been really eye opening for me, and the best way for all this to sink in is of course to relate it all to what you've seen before. Case in point is Mongolia of course.

The creation of urban areas that people will use and care about without vandalism or neglect is a complex subject it seems. The texts and academic articles on matters of social issues in an urban context, equality, poverty and accessibility for all suggests that empowerment and engagement are one of the answers to a better place to live for us all. The key to a collective social atmosphere and the loving use of public space it seems is to involve the people who will end up using it. And naturally I relate this newfound realisation to downtown UB, the capital city of Mongolia, and try to envisage how/whether this is practiced in real life. In not so many words-it's not.

An example of such an uninformed creation and use of space can be found in places of education. As far as I can remember from my short years at a Mongolian primary school, nowhere is there such ample space available and yet is absolutely unusable. The school's fences were so far beyond the building that the space between the two would probably fit a football field comfortably (perhaps time and the strange way everything seems bigger when you're young are distorting my memory) and yet it was nothing but a field of dirt, sand and a few sorry pieces of tires stuck in the ground for PE classes. Where did we go during our breaks? What did we sit on after school to talk about all the important things that children at that age talk about? Why did we have just a tired looking little cafeteria that sits about 10 and sells over steamed dumplings and dried up cookies for the whole of the school? And why oh why were children told to stand in a line, outside their classrooms, against the walls, around the halls during break because there was literally nothing else to do? I honestly cannot remember.
No body was interested in asking the children what they'd like to do for break. No body was interested in involving the children in the refurbishment or decorating of their school. All that was required of them was to clean their classrooms and the school halls in a rota during their holidays or as punishment for being naughty (and there was a lot of them because children being children, a level of anarchy was definitely in the air).
If the school had cared enough to put up some roofs over benches, grow some grass and flowers (even in pots), a designated and safe socialising area for all students indoors and out, all the while involving their students: discussing what gets put up, offering choice to all ages, using the voting system to reach a decision and having an element of budget to better understand finances, and then physical involvement in the making, building and painting, how much we'd have loved that space and cared for it? How much we'd had pride and respect for our school environment?

I'm afraid it's not just the primary/high schools that are faced with this. Universities are even worse I think, because now the Mongolian student  is no longer a child but an adult, why provide them with recreational space, play areas, stimulating environments and comfortable social gatherings, when they can all go and make it themselves in their private lives and ways? Universities have no students space-literally. Quite study rooms, relaxed coffee houses, group work zones with computers and tables, lively common rooms for discussions to take places as well as to make a cup of tea-these are all luxuries that the modern day Mongolian student will never have the pleasure of using. Because most of the university building being used are large, old and very tired constructions that will cost more to refurbish and update with high speed internet, good lighting, much needed heating systems and adequate number of toilets, than starting anew. The floorboards creak, the doors hang off the hinges, the windows rattle and the notion of a projector in a lecture hall is shall we say quite fictional.

Of course not all university buildings are like this-since the transition era in the 1990s many privatisations have taken place, things have changed and doubling glazing does exist. But the problem is that some are good and most are bad-social inequality, the rich and poor variations, society's acceptance of such poor standards to some degree all have a say. It can be easy to point the finger and target the blame towards the guilty party (all I'm saying is too much of a centrally controlled socialism, read communism...) however it's time to look forward and make sure the right remedy is being suggested for the future. And I think the right remedy includes but most definitely not limited having the students' voices heard, thinking about the use of space more practically, keeping up with modern technology and the general wish for the welfare of students.

Isn't it time that an educational institution in Mongolia has a functioning site that will actually encourage participation in class as well as their built environment? Surely all people who are there, ready and open to learning be given the best possible environment and space to flourish? Spend hours reading, engrossed in a book, lost in research, and alive with animation when debating with other knowledge seekers.

So, learning about public space on my course, looking at with a hint of awe at my current university and the students' space that's available, I'm making comparisons and relating to thousands of other fellow students in Mongolia roaming the corridors of their chilly buildings and can't help but be indignant. I realise that the physical space can do only so much when it comes to development, and people, shared experiences, personal drive will determine how well someone comes out the other end of a formal education machine. However it does play a significant role in the overall results. Why build more office spaces and retails units when they're only going to be filled with disillusioned people who cannot remember why they ever wanted to be there (labouring and consuming) in the first place. There will be no inspiration left and the inspired will wither away.

For some, formal education is a gateway to greater things and for others not so much because they find their own way. In Mongolia, it's a means to an end, the end being a good diploma (I won't even start on the corrupt activities of fake diplomas here, that's another long blog theme), a well paid job, money to buy an iPhone, a car and a house. Nevermind the journey. The journey of knowledge, understanding and good experiences have been erased from the higher education system in Mongolia, and I think it needs to be restored because what's a great destination without memories of how we got there?

*I most aware that there are so many other factors that will affect, contribute towards, limit, hinder and cause the above conditions, however, until I learn how to fix as a planning masters graduate, all i can do is wishful thinking!

National University of Mongolia, Main building-that's the only parking lot by the way.

Guild of Students, University of Birmingham-unbelievable space for students!

Russell Square campus, School of Oriental and African Studies, University of London-my first university had a humble space.

But made up for it ample with student activists!

Student Union bar, SOAS.

Student Union, SOAS.

Bullring, Birmingham-a beautifully working public space.

Office Life

I’ve now been employed by a highly reputable foreign company in UB for the last four weeks, doing a 20 hour week, part-time translation work. Rejoining the work force has been great, and although I applied for and accepted a job well below my previous positions and capacity voluntarily, there is still that feeling of being underused but also being pushed forward.

Let me expand. Translation work is boring if you have no self interest in the job - and it is not going to benefit you in anyway by furthering your intellect or even just amusing you. But I’ve convinced myself that despite having had more managerial roles in the post, I had missed out on the crucial and basic skills one has to gain. Like typing, translating, concentration and submission. Learning the basics is quite grounding for someone who’s in danger of being a little too confident.

However, seeing the managers of departments and others in a slightly senior role than me I naturally feel unnoticed, wasted and, let’s face it, unimportant. The first time I felt like was like looking through the window of a bakery when on a diet-quite sad really. But now there is that knowing nod inside and an invisible pat on my head (‘don’t worry, you’ll get to eat the cake, but after you’ve lost the baby fat’).

Body issues aside, something else that I noticed is the gender inequality and the general inequality in the office. Trust a woman to reference the 3 classic female causes of today’s politics consecutively in my last 3 blog posts right? (Child care, healthcare, gender issues-but I believe one should talk about what one doesn’t know so they learn, write about what one does know).

For a foreign company with overseas operations it’s generally the norm to send male executive types to oversea and manage various departments, with local subordinates. In fact, it has become such a common establishment in Mongolia today that seeing one (female) Mongolian in charge of a department at my current company was refreshing (albeit she was heading up the typical female department of HR).

Why the bipolarity then? It feels almost like a modern equivalent of a 50s office situation, minus the cool Mad Men type attire and cigarettes. Study after study has shown that women tend to be better leaders and managers, if we only get over our inability to speak up and be aggressive, or that pesky little nature’s issue of child bearing duties. The typical Asian response would be that women are easier to work with (read: submissive and easily controlled) or the typical developing country based company response would be that they need someone with experience (read: one of their own and unlikely to cheat the company). I realize that there are many other sides to my above generalizations but the effort to overcome this typical-ness is frustratingly little.

Lower positions of clerk, translators and assistants are predominantly female, and funnily (and maybe saddeningly enough) the IT predominantly male so that the female assistant will at some point have to ask for help about her darn printer.

And what’s more interesting to observe is the fact that departments, different levels of position do not mix at lunch time, in the kitchen or even at after work functions. For a foreign company it can be understandable that the language can be a slight barrier to vertical socializing for some employees but even the competent English speakers tend to segregate themselves and run with their pack. This may be an age old issue that has been discussed, ranted and blogged about from a long time ago by millions of females out there. But considering I’m from a predominantly liberal, small scale and not necessarily a profit seeking professional background I find this setup alienating. How will one learn, gain experience and more understanding if one only sticks to their own department/work/recipe? Is the higher plan to keep the ants working so they can be wielded in one profit margin smashing direction or is it that there is no higher plan, just the reality of what employment is like in Mongolia today?

Where are the good doctors?

Recently my son was quite ill. He had a fever of 39.7 degrees, diarrhoea and irritability that bordered on the bipolar, where one minute he was trying his best and the next he was screaming at the top of his lungs with streams of tears down his cheeks. When your child is sick, there is no other feeling like it. The feeling of helplessness and desperation and exhaustion was all I had, and my transformation of a generally happy-go-lucky type mum into a suspicious-lioness-protecting-its-cub-from-anything-that-moves took place.
After the second day of squirting baby paracetamol into Arvis' mouth and not seeing much improvement we decided to see the doctor. This was a mission because we never really registered him with any doctor in Mongolia since he arrived. And here are the problems with trying to get treatment here.

Like the GP system in the UK, everyone must register with their local district and khoroo to qualify for health, education, social and council services. We;re not registered at the the place we're living in becuase it doesn't belong to us and also because moving isn't just about packing up and leaving, then notifying your bank, tax office and maybe your magazine subscription. Because there's a monster of a citizen's databse that has everyone's infomration, enytime the slightest change happens you have to physically get your self out to the Citizen's Registration Centre, queue for hours on end and then be declared 'moved.' But that's the not the end, you then have to go to the disctrict and khoroo that you've moved to so that you can be registered with them and their services but only after you visited your previous khoroo to let them know that you're no longer in need of their services. All in all, we pay taxes so that we can run our own errands whilst the civil servants sit and watch you queue. This is just the tip of the iceberg though and I've diverted my ramble a bit.

Because of this problem of our's my mum, who used to be considered one of the best doctors in the city in her heyday, put us in touch with a paedetriction at her old hospital. She's the best paedatricion apparently and my mum asked her to see Arvis if he needs it. You have to know people to get the best services you can possibly get and if that fails, know someone who knows a lot of people. I mean good in two basic meanings-capable and trustworthy. There are shortages of these good people-doctors/teachers/engineers/whatever that you need, those with the resources usually hog their time and their lack of accesibility to those with less financial means or less conncted creates a truly divided society. And as Mongolians say, a knife has two edges, eventually even those good people become bad as their demand increases their price or worse reduces their value (as in they become moneymakers foremost).

Our paedatrician was not working privately, but remained in the state hospital, and although she was capable I had no trust. At that point I did not trust many people, and was always skeptical of doctors who prescribed anti-biotics as the first choice of medicine. But we were despearte and after two days of giving him the meds he was still not better. I decided it was time to start calling around and asking 'Where are the good doctors?'

A good friend of mine suggested a doctor she takes her daughter to and by then we both thought a private doctor will be better than the state docotr-why? Because we're at least paying the price of their consultation and time, rather than depending on their goodwill. And the doctor was pretty good because she conducted a very thorough examination in a very child friendly and bright clinic, and said that she doesn't want to rpescribe anything as he's in no real danger, just carry on with the paracetamol and stop the anti-biotics because it may be poisoning him more than anything. Perhaps it was the toys and bright wallpaper, perhaps it was hearing that he will be ok, or perhaps it was because I had a feeling about her. Whatever happened, I was immediately put to rest and felt so much lighter. When it comes to illnesses and your child you never know what is the right thing to do, except to look for a recommended doctor and trust in your instinct, then stick to them when you find them! You can never tell if a doctor is good (in both senses) or not for sure, be it in Mongolia or elsewhere in the world, and the scary thing is to put your trust in them. I know that we'll all need doctors at some point, no matter how healthy a lifestyle we live, and when we do, I hope their goodwill hasn't run out.

Childcare is a B****

I recently went back to work, after having spent some nine months being the primary caregiver to my little Arvis, because it felt like now I can tear myself away from him for a little bit and also because I was getting restless. Being quite lucky, I managed to land the perfect job, at least for the time being. 20 hours a week, three times a day from the office-and my office is pretty swish and right in the centre of town. It feels great to leave for work in the morning with my husband, knowing that I’ll be back by 6pm, or later should I wish to meet up with friends and then be home for two days of the week to play with my little boy, and do some baking. Couldn’t be happier. What’s more, meeting new people, making new friends, learning new things and accomplishing tasks and getting things done feels so invigorating, no matter how small. I know that this will only continue for the summer but it’s a great way to get back into gear and ready myself for the impending further study.

It all sounds perfect but it wouldn’t if there was no reliable babysitter, someone I can trust completely and who I know will be good to my son. Again, we’re lucky it worked out great but it got me thinking about  how the other young parents do it in Mongolia. It seems, from speaking to many people with children (I think people with young children naturally get drawn to one another!) that their parents (grandparents) perform a huge chunk of the childcare when the parents decide to get back to work or in a lot of cases in recent years, to study. In Arvis’ case though both of his grandparents are unable to do that both two very different reasons-one grandma’s very elderly and needs a lot of care herself and the other set is in their prime and working away.

Paid hourly babysitting is an alien thought in Mongolia because of the abundance of relatives and grandparents, and also because of a lack of trust in people and a even more so a lack of integrity in the carers. I know of several agencies training babysitter but they’re mostly for permanent and full time carers rather than services which you call in an emergency and still be at peace.

Once the kid gets old enough they’ll inevitable be sent to nurseries and kindergartens, some even to nurseries that care from Monday to Friday-a social conditioning and infrastructure that is no doubt a residual Soviet system-and they are not at all great. There’s the problem of unreliable care (food, environment, discipline tactics from medieval times) and then the issue of logistics. I honestly have no idea how some people deal with it. A very good friend of mine leaves her daughter with her mother-in-law and her own mother when she’s able to take time off her work. I think it requires a lot of energy to keep lugging a child around as well as leaving them behind, then going home to take care of house business, never mind personal business.

There are good nurseries out there, ones with great facilities, good food and abundant supervision, and the children who attend them tend not to get ill very easily-is it that it’s more clean or that their home environment is healthy? And is that in any way related to socio-economic background? Inevitably, it all comes down to affordability. Not everyone can afford to send their children to these great places, and they are a dime a dozen. Why aren’t more nurseries being built and run this way? The biggest reason it seems is that there is no physical space left in UB for the infrastructure. Thousands of people move to the city every year in search of a better life-employment, housing, education, opportunities. Buildings containing banks, shops, mining projects and health spas are being erected in every nook and cranny, and they are being filled by jobs for the thousands of newly graduated young Mongolians, with dreams to leave their country for an even better life. But why is child care being left behind? Why is the concept of raising your children in a good environment, nearby and without risks such an separate issue for our development leaders today? Surely it’s all tied up together?

Nurseries in the office building, or within the office if they’re accommodating enough, or one nearby a concentrated amount of offices in the city…it’s all possible with enough planning and a genuine concern for this growing trend of leaving your children behind or resorting to less than happy situation. I only hope that it’s not too late for development to keep striding forward with social issues holding its hands.

This was of course a non-issue for me a year ago because how we raise our children in Mongolia was not our main cause for concern, or what we’re offered as choice for child care. I never want to  burden my parents or aunts and uncles and distant relatives with child care but if I had no choice, no money, no Baljka (our lovely nanny) our situation becomes the normative situation. Here’s our lovely twosome: